Happiness. A word that can simply change a person's life by its existence.
Happiness is subjective. Some people define happiness as acquiring the sweet taste of faith of one's religion, some can be as simple as making sure they have their morning tea with a good book to read every Saturday. Some haven't got a clue what their true happiness bounds to be, but they figured the cliche things like the bonds in family and friendship would suffice.
Is it good that you have it? Or is it better that you don't?
Now that's really up to you. How would you define happiness? How often do you get it? Have you achieved it? Or haven't you? Is it worth fighting for? Does it really make you happy once you obtain it? How hard is it for you to reach it?
Is it really...?
I've watched myself fall into despair so many times. I've watched some of my loved ones fall too. So many times we tried to achieve something we believed could guarantee us happiness, we lost. And that's why, up to a certain point, I stopped and asked myself, "How good will this do to me if I lose myself along the way?"
Now don't misunderstand this with dreams. Dreams would of course make you happy if you are able to achieve them. Depends, though. I would not call myself a dreamer much. Hence why my happiness isn't entirely bound to my dreams. In my case, happiness can vary.
As I grow up, I began to learn a thing or two about redefining the term. Initially my ultimate happiness was when I gained the trust and support from those around me, on things that I did and things we worked on together. Or maybe the mutual understanding formed between friends. So that one day friends can become family. However as I grow older I realized it was more of a child's dream. It was never as easy as being said. I am now at a stage where those near me are ones who not only shared different perspectives from mine, but came from a different society background and I had no choice but to adapt and survive. I grew up with my happiness bound to the sweetness and purity of friendship. But ever since college I learned as much to change it.
And then I realized, I got happier.
A friend of mine said she's happy when she sees herself as "pretty".
But one day she fell low and deep because she thought she was never "pretty enough".
So she worked hard to change herself to be prettier and admirable, but instead she tormented herself to become something she's not.
Today I see her as a completely different person, lost and confused.
A friend of mine said she's happy that she has a friend who completes her.
And one day it no longer works that way.
So she worked hard to fix her friendship when she knew better it could never be saved.
Today I see her still trying, losing herself along the way.
One so dear to me was in shatters when she couldn't find the true love she desired, which to her, would be her ultimate joy.
So she kept on giving herself away to new, unworthy love and received more heartbreaks in the end.
Today I see her broken and heartless, but continues anyway.
In the end... Is it all really worth it?
Yes, happiness is subjective. And it varies individually. But how would you define it? What's the point of calling it happiness when you lost everything you hold so dear to you by the time you have it?
Everything you hold so dear...Especially yourself?
By the time I realized and learned that, my term changed.
1) Efforts matter.
I have things I really wanted to achieve, for example to excel in my studies. But if the marks I received weren't as high, I'll be happy enough to congratulate myself for trying hard.
2) Little things matter.
Sometimes things don't always go the way you want them to. Sometimes the day doesn't end the way you wanted it to be. But at least, appreciate the little things that happen that day that could have made you smile. For example your friend asked you if you're okay, or you managed to finish all your chores. Or as simple as you saw the clock's ticking and you realized that class was going to end soon. Little things matter, if not the big ones.
3) I, matter. You, matter.
People can bring you down. Even those you admire and love so much. But remember that you matter too. If the friendship or relationship don't work both ways, leave. Your feelings are just as valuable as that person's. Don't ever lose yourself for someone who's not worth it. Don't lose your value just to be of value of someone else. Be you, and remember that you, too, matter.
4) In the end, it's for the Deen.
At the end of the day, I realized that life is always for the Almighty. No matter how I define my happiness, my ultimate joy will be when I achieve Jannah and get to see Him with my own eyes. It has always been Him. No matter who and what puts me down, my life will always be to impress Him with my deeds. Him, and only Him.
I am still young and learning. I get happy, I get upset, I get sad, I get angry. It's normal, because I'm also human like you. But as a person who has feelings and agendas, I figured I have to set my points clear. What makes me happy, what is it that I'm trying to achieve...etc...etc. And as a person who observes, I find that it matters a lot. It's good if you have found your meaning of joy and still in bliss now. But for those who don't, it's okay. As long you don't lose yourself, and your faith, you'll be okay. And you won't be lost forever.
Life is short.
So don't waste it. Redefine your happiness, look at things at a different angle. And one day, you'll realize...
Happiness will find you.